here's my heart, please mash into hamburger and grind

been wanting to post this for awhile now.
exams finish. and its 6am. after this, i will see the sunrise.
so i might as well

i'm pretty sure there's a number of you who read this blog, albeit semi dilligently, and in a no comments non tagging way which is very charming.

so this post is for all of you, who know me in varying degrees.
to probably get to know your blogger a little bit better.
there will be no holds barred. and u may use this against me in future,
or judge me. as i said. here's my heart.


i'm 23 this year and i feel that i've reached a new phase in my life. i'm new!
different, and much more firm.

i dont look it, but i sure as hell know what i want and what i dont want.

i'm happy with how i live my life, make my decisions, and approach conflict and face awkward situations.

i'm a very vibey person. i intend to give u good vibes, and i judge you based on what vibes u give me. sorry, u cant hide from those vibes emanting from your core. its worked well for me so far.

academically, i'm good enough. for myself.

musically, i wish i was.

physically, i'm happy with what God's given me. if you call daddy and mommy, God.
which leads to the next point.

i'm not very religious. i'm clueless. and rightly so cos i've tried and "failed". why "failed"? cos religious people say i have.

i'm a kantang(english-based) person. but i love singing in chinese. and proud to be bilingual. sorry if its weird.
this semester i learnt that my presentations are good in class. hope that pans well for me in my future job.

i'm not neat, tidy nor organised. i operate in a way which only i understand. whih worries me cos i might have to live with someone in future. jinx, my room hasnt been cleaned since u came. dont dare to invite you.

i'm a sociable person. i get along with everyone except misfits. cos misfits give off bad vibes.

i can be very mean. stems from the fact that i know how i stand with you. words to me are merely for show. to make people laugh. and to mess with their heads. the underlying truth is observed in tone, language and body movements.

food is wasted on me. i can eat forever. and ever. and u get my point.

i enjoy females attention. nothing new? i'm just the first to admit it.

sports-wise, i'm pretty much good. ball sense is there. run jump swim cycle all can. for the newer friends, i was a national sailor till late. play a decent game of soccer. and enjoy tennis cos i know i can be better. dont call me for bball or hockey or cricket. cricket is the animal which makes noise at night. i almost forgot frisbee.

i'm in the midst of refurbishing my wardrobe.

my back kinda aches.

sengleong and greg and mark ianb are probably my best friends at this point in time.

i should seriously smoke less.

i dont really care what people think of me. i'm not trying to act cool. i really dont care. i'm cai. hi. thats all there is to it. u think i'm hot, thanks. u think i'm not? can also. wanna supper?

i wanna get a pair of aviators but can find any.

i tend to think that i'm leading a perfect life. and the imperfections are tests to see how a perfect life would ride those bumps.

i said amen once after praying at the temple. my communication skills has improved since.

i'm a pretty decent boyfriend, althought i dont think the applicable people would totally agree. i can be. i just havent gone about "being".

i'm proud of this blog.

my family is the source of my happiness and jadedness

some body messed me up once before. very embarrasing. an online encounter of the wrong kind. never viewed girls the same since. its hard for me to really see them as total angels even if i try. and i know they are.

details? somebody took another identity and talked to me. and it was convincing i actually played along. rather, "got played". i wish she didnt do that to me. i didnt deserve it.

i'm talking to tehteh now

i'd love to meet more people.

i have well-documented doubts about my ability to settle down.

i have to sleep. if u wanna know more. a simple request would do.

wait. sue ann gave me krispy kreme. i dont think thanks suffices. but considering that i've been thinking about it non-stop. u should get it right?

shanghai in 3 days. lets roll out.