niggling thoughts dont serve me well

been feeling like life's been tightening the screws on me. bit by bit everyday.
every little thing seems bigger and more pertinent than ever. getting restless.
its a vicious cycle.
i've already established that im the easily pleased sort of person, that any small thing makes me laugh or feel contented for a short while. but underneath the fleeting laughs lurks an evil form of escapism which isnt serving me well.
i never believe it when people say i shouldnt collect bad karma. and what goes around comes around. politicians dont get struck by lightning everyday do they?
but perhaps if someone told me this inner rat which gnaws at my soul so often it almost feels real were due to my bad karma. i'd say life had an awesome way of biting back at me in a really sneaky way. (i didnt pay for dinner today again)


just hanging on, letting the little wins blind me from the bigger picture.

im imagining a huge pirate ship ala pirates of the caribbean, getting swept into a huge whirlpool, and there's me inside, smiling my head off cos im winning at poker on the deck. laughing even louder as the ship spirals down and knowing i cant really do very much about it. damn you neptune.