Its a Store and More!

i think its time to come clean.

this is my blog and i havent been honest with you.
In the case inaction indeed is an action.
The action of withholding information and not being honest with myself.
To be absolutely frank, I have no clue if this is right or wrong, but the mere fact that I've not told my blog this is sufficient reason for guilt.

It started from University I was sailing less and had much more time on my hands.C(AOB)
lets called the term attached and having a overseas bf(AOB)
went out, never for a second wanted to date her. She told me about her bf occasionally, then it flickered out. Sleeping together can only bring you so far.

Then there was L. She was single, got together for awhile but I was hasty and she wasnt the right one. Breakup wasnt pretty but compared to the rest, this mightve been the best separation I've had.

My memory isnt too good, but the next one should be T. (A)
lets call attached (A).
Never had a clue what was on her mind regarding me. We just hung out, late nights, good times. Went back to her bf shortly, broke up and she's with another guy now.

Graduated, work started, and once the dust settled there was S.(GOB)
S was GOB(Getting over BF). this went down terribly, but at least there was no internal complication. She meant the world to me, She just wasnt that into me.
I hope its not because of this one which led to the below.

Got posted to Malaysia for work, before I left I met C2(ANG)
lets call ANG: Another nice girl. Went magically during the initial phase, came to visit me in Malaysia, and I absolutely lost the plot. Perhaps my impression is that her role is to keep me company, and she failed. I was alone overseas definitely, so no escaping the alone time, but why I took it out on her, I'd never know. Understanding this may be the answer to my redemption. I basically tossed and turned in bed for one night, thinking about everything. And then I was suffering so much just thinking about it I called her to break up with her.

Things dont get better from here. There was T2(AOB). who travelled to Vietnam with me.

Followed by Y(AOB). who i honestly thought really liked me but never for a second considered leaving her bf. this i know for a fact.

Then E(A). who I cant comment really much right now. but lets just say she's alot less interested in me when her relationship wth her bf is fine.



Ok so thats just the summary of facts.
1. Im sure i missed out some people. (sucks to be you)
2. I hit the sack with every single one of them. some i enjoyed, some i live to regret.
3. Cept for L and C2, i dont know if they really liked me. But more importantly they're happy now, with their other halves.
4. Until now I have no idea if I played or I truly liked any of them. Or if I was abused as a child and lacked parental love and manifest myself in this way.
5. the purpose of this email is to vomit everything out in hope of facing my deepset insecurities and failures and somehow move forward.
6. This list is from 2007-2011. On an average of 2 a year i suppose.