under my umbrella

been generally recovering from a heavy bout of the illness known to come in packages. flu, cough cold fever and the shits. decided not to see a doctor so obviously its been pretty tough. shoulders still aching now for some weird reason(imhopingitsnotdengue) but my mind's clear and my nose is drying up.

for some strange reason i wished upon a shooting star last night, for my health. not world peace, not hot sex. but good health. damn im getting old.
yes i really did see one flash across the sky.

mom doesnt know, sis doesnt know. basically noone knows. its cool. living by oneself should be like this. lotsa veggies and water for me now.

as a consequence i didnt work on thurs and fri last week. which doesnt make me feel too good. but oh well when the sky falls on your head nobody gives a shit about your job.

its kinda like my last week of internship coming up, so will be nice to enjoy the rest of my holidays. sailing. by myself. and maybe putting on some muscle around the right places.

i've never been more disillusioned. its really hard to discern between disillusion and revelation, similar to how the line between genius and retard is very fine.
but well im sure u wouldnt disagree that retard is much closer to genius than being average.

this paragraph thing really isnt working well is it?

but yea anyway, everyones at lee's party so its a quiet saturday night. federer and nadal final will be good. marion bartoli is my newfound inspiration. guess watching tennis is my way of passing time since i cant really do much.

and by not being able to do much involves watching vjc win another national title on the water for the 9th consecutive year. albeit with alot of controversy and luck. i was there for the 2nd and 3rd year so we've come pretty far havent we?
and also involves playing soccer for 2 hours at the cage nursing a runny nose and aching body. did i tell you im sick? did i tell you im mildly retarded as well? yes? okay moving on.

having a chat today over lunch with dawn chris and zhiwei was good. i especially liked the calming effect smth dawn said about us at 35 earning in excess of 100k a year being real possibilities. very calming indeed. but owning your own house still seems pretty tough doesnt it? think a 15k a month job suits me a lil better. well, as the catchy song goes: listen as the day unfolds, challenge what the future holds.

oh uknow i was talking about disillusion right? yes i know it sounds so vague. so let me tell you what it is all about. its about relationships of course. the one i have with myself is pretty good. the ones i have with my fleeting acquaintances are good. the rest, basically stink. kinda makes me a lonely person doesnt it? well most definitely. im lonely. lonely in a dr house type of lonely. lonely in a smash my walking stick into your shin kinda lonely. but yeah its cool. relationships have once again totally eluded me. and my logical and rational brain has been baffled once again. but yeah i'll pick my moments shant i? lonely is God's way of telling my i can be better. in some way i have yet to figure out. hey least im trying k.

so anyway, hope everyones had a good weekend, no deaths or mishaps in your lives. in good health and in good spirits. havent dropped any screws like i have. my house is basically like an auto repair shop now. goodnight to you. and thanks for visiting my blog every once inawhile. you come you go. and then we die.