life house.

so this is how growing up is.

im experiencing it. full on. no shortcuts. its incredibly fun and fulfilling for sure. taking the world on. in the same breath its fucking frustrating.

its really about being able to achieve all these things in the world. physically and mentally, strong and resilient. but brash and contemptuous at times. having the world at your mercy is great. and how do i move on from here? live in the moment which is as fleeting as ever?. nope. i know i got the world at my feet. but now, before its too late, must find a place to call my own. a niche a passion. whatever u call it.

in the process find a wife. a house. some balance in life. then soon i'd have tonnes to look back at.
its easy looking back if you're old. im young. and looking back at some things i find it so rich and colourful. so unforgettable and memorably wonderful. how i was the best optimist sailor once. feared and fearless. how i looked my girlfriend in her eyes and told myself how friggin lucky i was. no matter how fleeting. it meant alot. how i flunked my o's but redeemed myself with my a's. the reassurance and all the self doubt put to rest. putting the competitive streak aside and pursuing things i wasnt born good at. playing tennis and guitar. and the moments hitting the chords and courts alike made life so beautiful. its all these things which makes my life thus far really an ass kicking experience.

now what lies ahead? i dunno. but why'd i wanna know anyways.
heh. wish i'd read this when im 70. then i'd have come a full circle.