people always leave

its really amazing. how if people never left, i'd never have to blog.

parents leave i blog. sister leave i blog. friends leave i blog. i leave friends overseas, i blog.


oh well but then again people moce around. bloody greg left for 6 months. so thats a major example of people leaving and not coming back for a mother long time.


i've been thinking alot lately. not in circles but about what people think of me. and the extent of which it is true. and the repercussions of that because who i am is important. who i am decides what kind of person i will be.


i used not to care, as long as i can answer to myself. but now its abit tough answering to myself because i'm probably not exactly where i want to be. or rather, where i should be. in order to achieve my life goals, i have to position myself in those right places, to take advantage of the opportunities which come my way. and i think its time i start doing so.

for a start. im gonna listen to my parents. one of my aunts daughters is in ICU now for totalling her car into a tree near my house. they nagged their lungs off me, but uknow what? they're right. i dont want to be in ICU. i dont wanna die of lung cancer. i dont wanna hug my toilet bowl to sleep. i dont want my family to suffer. the present family or the future one.

i'm gonna try to fix me by myself. if i fail, im gonna get help. if all else fails, im gonna have a conference with my maker.