Natural Cream

at random times which strike me swiftly. i can only wonder if im boyfriend material. honestly there is doubt. being in failed r/ships before. its time to start believing in "the one" again, cos maybe, she'd bring out the best in me always. no more lengthy conversation on how to be a better couple. and no more feeling like shit when there werent even any arguments. wait. how come other people have arguments and i dont. i just get dropped like hot potatoes instead. waiting for "the one", cos if there isnt. i'd be in a repetitive cycle of getting attached and dumped. repeat monotonously. attached and dumped. attached and dumped. i'd take the highs and lows rather than boring ole single life. but trust me, i'll turn serial killer when im thirty and my soulmates still in my soul. i know its time to focus on making MYSELF happy. and concentrating on my day to day stuff like working out and stuff. rather than thinking of you incessantly and not having the guts to say anything when i've got the chance. somehow or rather i know i must change. does eternal happiness exist? no crests or troughs? just a smile whenever u see her face? wow. thats amazing, love has already been amazing. and that is extraordinarily amazing. somebody tell me if that exists, so i can die in envy. good thing im green half the time already.
somebody whos been happy all thru the r/ship. i want a role model.
-i know i can be the best, if you teach me how.