freaking good weather to sleep

okay now she's gone. gone to drink tsingtao and play with oil rigs.
i hope she'll be fine there.

to be honest? i wasnt too fine when she left.
i burnt off then pack of love (dunhill).
i had the heaviest heart. but somehow it felt good. the feeling of thinking about someone. and its not cos i wanna get into her pants. not because she's so damn hot i wanna have her around like some trophy. but because something felt different.

i think i did tear at some stage, not so drama like u'd expect. but my eyelids were moist and yeah it was quite funny as well. i saw the joke so i actually was tearing smoking and smiling at the same time. looking at myself in the mirror i didnt feel too shit. every thing was normal. and mind you, i didnt feel emo cos she's gone and i've lost someone. i did because i think we couldve done more with the time spent together, and for that i feel sad. well least i got her a white watch, monochrome tissue for the domestically disabled, a black plastic bag and a card written in black ink. because i know her favorite colour. i couldve known more.

it doesnt matter if she lost the watch(which has been stolen by now) or lost the card, or not used the tissue paper. i just wish she read the card. after which i think what i had bothered to pen down wouldnt have been wasted. watches and cards can be bought, but not writings.

so anyway, i hope she didnt lose any more of her stuff between then and now. because at the current rate she might be naked in the middle of the city after losing her luggage. kidding. i miss her to bits. disappointed i will not see her for a long while, ironic that she left on the day i become damn free cos school's out. and apprehensive that she'd wanna meet me when she comes back. because of some obscure reason which i let by.

truth is, i'll need some time.