people always leave.: August 2007

Saturday, August 25, 2007

8th october 1984

no point being caught up with shit.
come, lets talk about things which have actually happened.
people dont like to come here and read about fake vague shit which mean everything to me and nothing to you. warning though. alot of school shit

http://www.westerncircuit.com/daytwo/index.html
this is probably the best thging which happened to me lately.
check out the pix. 6th page bottom right is my boat.
see the weather and broken masts.

besides that, school has started. enjoying my classes esp the lvl3 mods.
yuping is singlehandedly pulling me through the incredibly inane intro to world hist mod with her blushing and gushing about who else. the lecturer.

the investment simulation thing has been great too. my returns of 40K isnt that bad considering i topped the class for 2 days. now im 3rd and enjoying meself.

Org Behavior is great cos the mod is interactive, prof is friendly and there's common enemy in class for us all the vent at. some viet girl who's socially unawares. like, totally. to last anyone thru 3 hours, these criterion are a minimum i tell you.

Org Effective is alright as well but for a totally different reason. the prof is damn slack. like not even in a covert way. but we dont feel pressurised as well so thats great. got eye candy in class too. my friends ex gf. look like the chiongster type. easy on the eye. and im so slack in class, i just slack and look at these made up people and ask myself where the fuck'd they find the energy to sit up straight and eyeball the prof for 3 hours.

went to the gym with justin and had street soccer after that.
which makes me a bruised and battered person now. but damn satisfied.
chris maxi zhichao and jwong really is the best team we could come up with. and we actually won a tight game with this group of malays which was great.
apparently the marine crescent team went for a tournament and won it so they went to europe to represent singapore before. thats great for them man.

oh and i've been going mambo quite alot lately with diminishing amounts of happiness. shall retire for a long while now. culminated with the picture u see below. totally sian. some other form of entertainment please. i dont mind doing ANYTHING. im talking to greg about selling my ass now. so i mean. ANYTHING.

have a good weekend people. quote from House. the drama serial
if u dont do things that make yourself feel stupid, you'll never find the things which truly make you happy.

Friday, August 24, 2007

sometimes u're down.

what're you gonna do about it?

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

sorry

is a fucking power word

because the truth is hidden between the lines.
things arent the same if the words arent the same.

on another note. my fucking driving instructor almost killed us both yest.
taxi was tailgating me when he decided to smack a mosquito on the golve compartment. and you know the drill for emergency brake right. fucking funny. heng i didnt brake. but it was so potentially bad i laughed my head off.

i guess this could be apt.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

this feels strange

a weird sense of calm.

something which i know is greater than me myself.
im typing but its not me.
the clock ticks incessantly.
the stomach churns like a cementmixer.
my eyesight is getting blur.

its over. welcome.

this is not good

im a little bitch.

this is not good.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

leng kee

sometimes food isnt just food.
its an oasis. fantastic man. thanks.
beef kway teow lovin.

on another note.
my life's in this downhill spiral.
gonna have to ride this one out myself.
everyones been giving me the look.
im not particularly handsome or overtly unkempt.
its not just me, so what the hell is going on?

is this the sign which tells me im getting sucked into loneliness and despair?
i dont know who feels worse. my school friends who willingly left, or me, who willingly let myself stay here and face a school which is so noisy and boisterous,

whose silence is only felt by me.
its a void only friends can fill.

Monday, August 13, 2007

single boys have more fun!

Saturday, August 11, 2007

mahjong@marks

okay this one is really damn lucky.
karma can wait. i'll take this.

non-players can try to understand. sorry.

isaac jh mark and cai. dongnansibei.
i was down $15 bucks or so. since i'm bei, im last.
and we only play one wind so basically once i lose, 75% chance, game over we all adjourn go home.

luckily, i won. 1 tai. 80cent profit.
next game. won again. 3 tai. $3.20 profit.
won again. ping hu. 4 tai. $6.40 profit.
guess what. ping hu again. $6.40 profit.
better still, flowers and pongpong hu, 5 tai zi mo. $19.20 profit.
lastly, 4 tai from flowers and chou ping hu. another $6.40.

tiao zhng 6 times. from -$15 to +$27.
no wonder i dont wanna play poker tonight.
must learn how to win consistently, then can move up to 30/60 with ianbaey they all.
mahjong is a game of luck.
and i love mine.

Friday, August 10, 2007

national day eve zouk

i was queing for re-entry, and everything seemed to be coming along smoothly, when i found myself standing next to eelyn kok. some random actress from the current ch8 7pm drama serial.

cai: damn bitch lah she.
okay so she was quite a convincing bitch in the show. thumbs up for acting.
she naturally has the dao face anyway. we all know what kinda girls give the dao face dont we?

so then i glanced to my right, and there's elvin ng. whoever says he's handsome is abit mismanaged. nice guy face i'd say he has. still, dao face.
then i remember watching an episode of the serial they both acted in. KINSHIP.
so she stands there, he stands there. not acknowledging one another.

I WAS SO TEMPTED TO SAY "HEY WHO WAS BETTER IN BED, HIM OF HIS FATHER?"
LOL

storyline:
she likes him. marries his father for $$. brilliant concept of kinship and marriage. no wonder im so disillusioned lah. my life also can be as drama as theirs.
so yeah. it was pretty hilarious. damn chinese serials.

zouk in a nutshell.
bern, good.
amandak, emo.
mich and ian, awol.
yuping, killer.
liwen, the most emo.
nicole, owning.
eugene, started work.
denise, started school.
met, jianlin, cherylee, nics friend vanessa.
fucked up, smell, mambo dj play summer rain at 420am.
best part? beating the crowd.

tissue please.

since i started this blog thing in 2003,
i've never had a hiatus. not a real one at least. probably stopped for a maximum of 2 weeks. i need to blog.

and right now i have so many bloggable thoughts, i feel like setting up another one.
cos one is incredibly lame, and funny.

and the other is incredibly dark and deep.

i think most of the people who come to my blog have given up on me.
they come, they read, they go.

its so contrasting, my thoughts. putting them on one canvas would be grossly inadequate.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

niggling thoughts dont serve me well

been feeling like life's been tightening the screws on me. bit by bit everyday.
every little thing seems bigger and more pertinent than ever. getting restless.
its a vicious cycle.
i've already established that im the easily pleased sort of person, that any small thing makes me laugh or feel contented for a short while. but underneath the fleeting laughs lurks an evil form of escapism which isnt serving me well.
i never believe it when people say i shouldnt collect bad karma. and what goes around comes around. politicians dont get struck by lightning everyday do they?
but perhaps if someone told me this inner rat which gnaws at my soul so often it almost feels real were due to my bad karma. i'd say life had an awesome way of biting back at me in a really sneaky way. (i didnt pay for dinner today again)

just hanging on, letting the little wins blind me from the bigger picture.

im imagining a huge pirate ship ala pirates of the caribbean, getting swept into a huge whirlpool, and there's me inside, smiling my head off cos im winning at poker on the deck. laughing even louder as the ship spirals down and knowing i cant really do very much about it. damn you neptune.