outfield days. im exhibiting signs of jianhongs eyebrows. wtf. 

random pic of the day. look at that big SPOT. 

shit

i almost forgot what i wanted to blog about. fuck this shit


learnt smth about myself.
1. my ankle hurts like fuck after taking a kick.
2. i get happy fucking easily
2.1: a smile, im walking on sunshine for a day
2.2: the cage soccer the next day, im happy like fuck.

politically speaking

today was like. quite interesting. least 24 hrs wasnt wasted

went for ps lect with sueann and caryn at arts. was frigging pissed cos i was 20 mins late.
cos i decided to try the harbourfont way. ccb. never again. 95 also better.

anyways. ps lect was damn funny lah. all of us from vj.
01 guy 03 and 04 girls.
and seriously they are damn kinky.
and funny. im laughing half the time.

cai: i wanna learn french cos i think its a sexy language.

caryn: why learn french when all u need to learn is how to french kiss?

cai: -doubles up in his seat-

and sueanns toyota altis is one funny experience lah. alarm go off. bus waiting for us while the gantry refuses to open. and sueann our latently kinky girl. went off to find her man so im guessing her day went great too.

after tt i got a ride to natl stadium where i got a wakeup to do some cardio.

so i jyst got home from tennis 3 god sets of doubles. hardly broke a sweat though.
6-4 6-2 with mr wu. and 5-2 with jos serving before the lights went off.
pretty good i say!

this one is posted by manchi about mark. thanks postsecret. 

Life is a road of Self-Discovery.

and i have learnt much.

and theres so much more to go.
whoever gave me this set of mind body and soul.
also gave me much to deal with.

although in its finality, i will not have a eureka moment.
nor will i feel the satisfaction
like i just learnt how to play the guitar.

im certain i want to be the master of me.


spent the last 2 hours at parkway.
buying chemistry text for tuition later.
revising, brainstorming.
i realised that academics aint easy.
im a tertiary student. mulling over sec school stuff.
how dare we ask so much of 16 year olds?

another thing i learnt today.
through no stimuli totally.
is that im totally not over her.
in fact, i've barely even started.
not in sight, not in sound.
but definitely not out of mind.
why?

why do i want the next relationship process to be exactly the same way?
should have more faith the next one will be better yea?
should place my eggs in some basket instead of just eating them all day right?
questions all.

but all in due time i tell myself.
because self discovery is a worthwhile process
in a phase called life.

week proper.

a serious attitude.
a lifestyle.
a habit.
and instinct.
and a natural preoccupation.

thats what im converting my academic life into.
i am going to do it.

thanks post secret, for being there again and again. 

classic

LC.y` says:
budget for what?

new loves

i've changed slightly, maybe not today, but over time.

only thing is today, i've realised them.


i like girls who hardly smile.
i ABSOLUTELY love listening to my friends sing.
its better than some obscure dude whose platinum.
i like friends who dont talk to much.
i'm quiet.
i'm STILL forgetful.

no i dont remember you.
what's your name arh?

thank God for blogger.

everytime i have an argument with my dad, i blog.
and it gives me peace and some closure to each mini series.

todays argument was not good.
both of us not willing to bend.
but what made this argument different was that i was thinking of my mom.
i couldve and wouldve said alot of things differently if not for the fact my mom was sitting there.

i wouldve broken her heart into a million pieces had i said what was in my mind.
dad forced me to answer alot of questions i had no answer to.
but to sum it up, cos i cant type while i cry.
he asked me : so why should i continue funding your education?

my heart said: cos if u dont no one else would
my brain said: shut the fuck up

its happening guys.
to those guys in school who read this, ian peggy. this could well be my last semester in NUS.
to my homies who i hang with every day. i probably would need a job soon. wont have the kind of support to chill with you guys, club, dota, eat, shit.

i've prepared myself mentally since i was 18 to be denied a university education. today i was gonna say it. but i couldnt do it in front of my mom. not her. so i just listened to her advice, and let the storm blow itself out. too bad. the storms out and my hut has collapsed.

how poignant was it to have a storm for the duration of that conversation? no more, no less.

molotovs

i really think.

why do u maintain a relationship with someone?
if its with a girl, its probably because of the sex. and the fact that u want to make her happy for the rest of her life.

there's a reason behind it, some call it motivation.

with regards to family, what motivates me?.
its becomes a purely functional relationship.
dad plays dad, mom plays mom. i play me.
rebellious, lazy, whatever roles i take on lah.

there's no like, interconnectivity. some call it love.
there's no like, hey these are nice people man, they care about me.
its like just ...

its not all bad, like when mom fell sick i was at her beck and call.
when stuff happened im usually there to cover.
the reason is because i dont want these people to suffer, to die.
thats what motivated me.

its just that on every mundane day which we go through,
how are we to love another person without having a motive?
some say gratitude is a motivation.

as i grow older, the word family grows smaller.
i have theories to explain why. and its definitely not a natural occurance.

all your base are belong to us!!!! 

help

------------------------------------------ Allocated Modules------------------------------------------
Module Code : MNO2311
Module Title: Leadership In Organisations

Module Code : GEK1003
Module Title: Introduction to Political Science

Module Code : DSC2006
Module Title: Operations Management

Module Code : BSP2001
Module Title: Macro And International Economics

Module Code : DSC2003
Module Title: Management Science

ahhhhhh-chOOO

3km beach run.
1 hour of core stability.
one session of sailing.

now im sick

havent ran for 6 montsh cos im on hypertrophy.
havent done core stab for two weeks cos i slack.
how u tell me.
they say national athlete.

as one guy in the room exclaimed when his abs couldnt take it.
singapore is screwed.

maxi here you go. 

in Gods Glory.

well im glad i can answer both maxi and jill in one post.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAXI.
even though u're not on my list of favourite people, sengleong is btw.
you're still one cool dude, and a big cheehong also.
noob at everything except sailing.haha. gold medal gybe i'll never forget.

a short continuation of the technicalities.
which jill might wanna read. ahaha to be appreciated.=]

we were at the startling starboard end, next to the committee boat cos the bias was very heavy to the right. so was the course, it was skewed right like mad. one almost a one tack upwind.
anyway, imagine me and maxi side by side, waiting for the gun to go. current was pushing us to the right, and maxi hit the committee boat, twice. and i hit him too. windward boat keep clear i shouted. race starts and maxi is off to a flyer. wins the race comfortably. and bloody hell didnt do his penalty, caused me a shitty start, in a radial no less. and professing his pro-ness.
my two round life-inducing balls to you lah.
radial also wanna bully. penalty also dunno how to do. its just a freaking 360 la, not even 720.

diagrams might help=]

oh baby its a wild world.

regarding this thing which has been bothering me like fuck.


i have found some sense of closure.

in knowledge and realisation of the fact that,
some people were born ugly.
and some people were born with an ugly heart.

do not let your god given looks kill you,
even though it causes you to cry in bed before u sleep every night.

because those with an ugly heart,
are really worse off.

end of race

okay pesta sukan is over.
and im blacker than ever before.
schools starting and i hope i lighten up.

for those who are the straightforward types.
i got third overall.
behind junhao, our asian 4.7 champ.
and manyi, our sea games girls champ.
they happen to be siblings btw, which is rather, charming.

read on if u want the details.

5 races, 1 discard.
6,4,2,6,1.
thats how i placed for each race. combined total of 19 points,
13pts after one discard.

1. led the fleet by a comfortable margin at the first beat, before letting it slip due to 3 mistakes, didnt see the tanker blocking the wind on the right. and on the second beat i shouldve seen the breeze coming down the right.
2. led the fleet by half a leg. sailed really nicely, rain came and got everyone stuck in a hole. extra 15 kgs of body weight didnt really help me. shouldve stayed up current when the wind died.
3. singapore sailors were like shit. i had to chase to idiot qataris down. how they hell they got in front?. i dont know. anyway one bang hard left, one bang hard right. wtf right? couldnt catch whalid, good luck for his asian campaign in the 4.7s.
4. wasnt sure what the wind was doing after it shifted back to southwest. didnt keep a clear head. dug myself a deep hole at the first beat. no time to catch up even though the wind picked up.
5. last race and needing to get 1st and scott to sail his discard to beat him to 3rd, sailed well good start, strong wind meant boat speed was no problem. downwind i did quite okay. better than some days. didnt screw myself up tactically. held whalid off on the last downwind cos he was covering me all the way. didnt see him cos he was doing what they do best upwind, hitting one corner, hard.

overall i did okay, should have won actually, esp with the bullet in race two really going with the wind, as they say proverbially. i guess im fine, had more hard knocks than this, think laser trophy. but i know i have the ability to beat those in front of me. pro as they are, and adorned with gold medals and all. best of all, im not taking it too seriously now.

if u're interested in knowing what the heck im talking about, u can ask, im quite glad to share with u guys abit of sailing and the terminology. its a lonely sport.

我妈妈对我说。

钱不是万能的，但没钱万万不能

pestasukan

heyhey. im shamelessly advertising for myself.

nice pic u see above right. thanks thanks.




god i feel so random.
its coming down to nothing more than apathy.

specky boy racing today. i think i gotta flatten the boat up abit more. 

hello girls

okay here's the situation.

my guy friends, tan, tan sim,ng and poh.
they are unhappy with the fact that i know their female friends from SMU.
and they dont know my NUS friends.

so to rectify this problem(tekan me)

theres gonna be a movie night screening at tanah merah area, tan's house.
every guy has to bring a girl.
and im obliged to show up.

but uknow how inept i am with females and all
being the shy person i am.
so i let out this plea for help.
that one female will help me.
and i will be eternally grateful.

this sunday night, near sia training centre.
shag lah always kenna tekan.

for all you girls who wanna meet single and available guys.
though a tad too emo for most to handle.
tan especially.
its a good opportunity.
its okay if u're with me and u flirt with the other guys incessantly.
it happened before anyways.

emo nemo

theres something really bothering me.

for once i cant blog about it.
i wish i can talk to someone about it.

its not like the biggest deal.
but the world is a really ugly place.

someone call me pls.
i just wanna let it out.

my lurb no extinguish

jen, my neighbour has obviously been reading good books.

this ones called.'he's just not that into you' by greg behrendt and liz tuccillo

all i have to say is. i realise i few things about the girls who are attractive which i have met.

they're arent great enough for me to ask them out.
they're not worth it to me.
im not into them enough.
they dont deserve a fucking phone call from me.
im terrified to tell people you're my gf
i say im a committmophobe, but i really arent into you enough.
i die die also wont marry you.

blah blah blah u get my point lah.
yesterday i met a girl who might be worth it.
her face can launch my ship.

anyways girls should read it.
make them a lil less stupid about r.ships

8 seconds from overtime

went for supper with ian and his friend chui ye yday.

made me realise how small singapore is.
and how much smaller it is when u consider people around my age group.

reputations count for alot if you're still playing the dating game.
you cant hide who u are. u cant reset people impressions of you.
you end up with who u deserve.

and when u're finally a discard, a loser.
you know. you're just fucked up.