thats alright

i just want someone to spend the good times with me. because for a long while, its been all good.
so now i guess its like when u want someone to come and share all that. so you can sit and laugh about it next time. rather than to yourself.

those who are interested. pls take a look at http://www.arts.cuhk.edu.hk/humftp/E-text/Russell/agnostic.htm for some bits of me u cant tell from the blog or knowing me personally. if u even bother to click, im eternally grateful.

this articles sums me up if u have any questions.
if you are happy, we can go register our marriage immediately.
thank you.

i like this pic. maybe i have a future in being a delivery boy. pizza anyone? friendly delivery boy at your beck and call. 

not TOO buddy buddy now isaac 

me and isaac, buddy buddy 

my new cartel card. nice? 

hobie 16

had dinner with toh zhen chin<--world champion zhang and justin wong.
toh mentioned i havent been to any games before. and she spoke fondly of it. and i guess yea that sucks.

anyway uncle edwin spoke to me about sailing with peiquan on the hobie 16 which i will be tmr,
a sea games class.
dunno what happened to melcolm but i guess its just like sail for tryout or smth lor...

sailing is boring without maxi sengleong and colin. i found out today.
and if theres no coach. its unbearable.

im so screwed for school.
im definitely not too cool for school.

for those who like to see clearly in their dreams, wear your glasses. 

drag queen!!!! 

the only person who drank more than me is concussed next to greg. 

is he drunk or not? lol. nice finger girly. 

happy 21st birthday ian 

i dunno why they take the most pics when my mouth is full. can u tell im trying to smile? 

thats me and my cai sister. 

vive la chivas.

happy birthday to ian. that was some party he had. i thought everyone enjoyed themselves. tho slightly less alcohol gushing aroung the system really might have made it nicer. met up with nic isaac and liwen, whom ive not seen since sentosa. all the chao a level muggers.ha. bought ians jeans which required alteration from city hall then bought dinner to ians room @ raffles the plaza.
so basically i carried this large pizza into this super posh hotel and everyone was staring at me.
in the lift, all the air stewardesses mentioned how the smell was great so i said "room service" and they promptly all laughed their asses off. they even wanted to crash the pizza party but they were kinda old so i ran outta the lift asap.
poor ian got wasted on the double. but he had really nice people to look after him. or rather (person). drinking chivas and jim beam right out of the bottle isnt very healthy im telling you. macham my birthday like that. ha.

taking chances never seemed easier.


back to training today. manyi and victoria are back so i hope they dont kick my ass after training in australia in 30 knots of wind. winds looking like crap today but we'll see how it goes.
later peeps.

at the end of my stick

okay i really have to say this.

im really sick of listening to girls tell me bout how sad/confused they are about EVERYTHING.
but before u think im some heartless creep.
try to look at it this way: if someone told u the same thing everyday, wouldnt u get sick of it??

im torn between being a good listener, and a friend. and saying whats in my head. cos what i wanna say sometimes, is quite bastard. maybe i was born that way.

but what u need to hear, is something u dont wanna hear.

if u have reached the stage of sadness and confusion yes definitely.

and naturally, i tend to give advice, with the impresseion that i can make a difference. oh boy. girls in confusion dont take advice well at all. they shut everything out like when guys watch soccer. even if its clear as day they wont take your advice. from my side of the court it seems like its im being nice and helpful, but it sure feels like running into a wall. and again. and again.
today i feel like i ran into wall until my forehead cracked open so i must say this.

no girl in particular tells me such stuff everyday, but somehow everyday theres one. minimum one. so every single female i know is to blame.

conclusion is: girls, gimme an issue i can solve, or least make u feel better. listening adds to my emotional baggage, which, altho lately has been light, is soon gonna require extra payment for this plane to fly.

probably why i like marcia cross, shes got that look like she wont say a word to me when somethings wrong, and expect me to know. and i, in turn would have already known.

this ones for claire. i think u like guys like gaara 

somebody gonna hurt real bad

SOMEBODY (somebody, but i not gonna say who)

called me a loser for not getting my driving license.
seems like it doesnt it?. until i realise, i cant afford to get a driving license.
im a loser for being poor. boohoo. earning money is never easy.
but some people will never know.

how do u motivate yourself to do stuff everybody has done or can do?
im not good at that.

smelling of you.

ahaha stupid sue. when u see tis, your white pill is still all over my hand.

anyways, mno vid shooting was fun today. me and ian decided that everyones actually great to work with
and kevin oh kevin. made me laugh non stop with his oh-so-natural gay look.
AHAHA.

double-o tmr. happy bday ian tan zhen yuan handsome=]

on another note: my impression of a hot mama. with a killer dress to boot 

options options, exercise those options. 

one for all the conservationists. 

get those preceived notions outta your mind 

paradigm shift ladies? 

im dangerous. 

happiness

i found it, in an absurd way but im gonna hold on to it. for as long as i can.


i feel sorry when i look at your lives because i cant help.
but i realise i learn my lessons from your mistakes, which make me a better person.

so please, help yourselves.
i wanna be around people like myself
not the dysfunktional people u have all turned out to be.

did i tell you i love greg? jh looks so gay! 

okay my hello is up. theres gonna be a photo barrage. this is me. 

empowerment

i think i own probably the most random mind around.
but then again u'll never know

sailing yday was em.. different.
all the better sailors didnt show up. and i got ego boosted by kicking everyones ass so bad.
until i got so pissed off with quek and marc cos they obvously werent serious about training..
winds light and all but they seriously werent even trying.
so i jumped onto a byte, which im seriously overweight for. there where like 3 times more bytes than lasers, so at least it was more of a fleet than match-racing. dont think those who i raced against were tt good. cos i crossed e fleet to port from the start and the rest is history. sometimes winning isnt good but least i learnt sth..

anyway the TAP teas back so i guess training should get better. colins out for exams which is a bummer. i need to fine tune my skills against him cos im sure i can beat him.

got this week off as a study break. gotta fna midterm on the 8th, mno video to shoot on wed. lotsa fna presentations to go. luckily marketing and biz law projs are over. can breathe. if all come together again once more. confirm peng. somehow i agree with the notion that my modukes tho only 4 are very tough. bad choice.

horizons white as a sheet. rain rain.
please post comments or tag okay?
i wanna visit SMU

encounters

stunningly beautiful.

thats how i'd describe these two girls. or women if u prefer.
one asked me the most innocuous question, and the other, today said that my hair was nice, contrary to what mom thought.

one is attached, as i learnt quickly. two is married with two kids.

but they made my day.

somehow guys have a weakness. for girls who make their knees week.
its so vulnerable, so human. and, quite the irritatng too.

ok i know my hair looks is like chernobyl, but ease up on me okay. im not gonna cut it till someone donates to the fund. mow the cai lawn fund.

mid term break.
no school this week so those who wanna meet up, just call my mobile ok.
will install hello soon and post pics.

Registration for IT Problem

sitting at com centre hoping they can fix my msn problem. bloody got six hours to burn and im only half way thru. sad. not particularly looking forward to e mid term break cos that sorta just spells study. anyways, this laptop is heating up my lap. i gotta go before the heat fries more of my sperm. wont be good would it? ;)

check it out

yea i think claire and jen kinda got it right. went mambo yday. reason? cos its gonna renovate and its e last one. truth? its a bloody good excuse. mambo was good, those who went, know.
crowded? yes. music, worth the squeeze. non stop hits at phuture meant tt we almost didnt go mambo in the end. well greg said he enjoyed mambo for the first time so thats all good. i definitely drank too much for my own good but what the hell eh. i dont reject ak47s.

no im trying to rehydrate the body. not good to train without fluid.
mom dad sis all not home. im gonna spend some alone time today with my boat.

song: dont lie - black eyed peas

im on my own

6-0 6-0
woohoo. forehand backhand volley overhead serve.
all on fire today. im happy.

electric dreams

my coms stopped working. after doing some tests, i deduce the power supply is shorted. at the moment i have no $$ fo pay for someone to fix it. so im using the laptop now. msn version 4.7 if u know what that is..

went to meet up with shaun for dinner at SMU. got to know anna and siqin. ian are u reading this? lol. saw quite a few old friends. fulong, jieying, charles boo yea i think. then zg and this friend GG picked us up and the 4 of us proceeded to play dota. haha. my account got deleted cos i havent logged on for more than 3months. so, i proceeded to get my ass raped cos i really lost touch. for those who do play, i hexed a creep.
GG left and shaun and zg's classmate from ac who we met at cine joined us for supper at geylang till 2am. beef kway tiao and you tiao. yumy foods.

anyway for those who hang around me, i've decided not to use the word nigger again.
yea i use it freely sometimes in my speech. reason is cos when i was talking to shaun's friend during the ride home, he mentioned how derogatory it is and really shouldnt exist in modern context. not that i really dont already know that, cos i always figured since theres no black people around i guess it should be okay. its just a term freely used like 'fuck' or 'bastard' right?
but what i did learn yday, cos he had more experience with hanging around and schooling with people overseas was that, whether or not there are blacks around, the term was invented in a derogatory manner and i should not propagate this sorta stuff.
quite obvious right? now i feel quite bad for using it so much. someone punch me if i use it and not correct myself. give me a week and i'd wipe that word outta my mouth im sure.

tennis soon, mambo tonight.
last one before it closes.
i like RETRO MUSIC.

post @NUS

okay, one of the nicest girls around gave me a lift to school today hence im early. i've actually gone to school with christie since primary school, so now actaully its been VERY long we've been going to school together. so anyway class hasnt started and i've got some time to just poke the keyboard in the com lab. btw, the computer takes 10 mins to startup.

my sore eye is really a major pain, first time im wearing glasses in school cos i saw the pics of ian and charles boo in glasses so i thought since they're fine with it, why not me. anyway i hope noone laughs at me in lecture or tutorial later. just want this swelling to go away quick so i cant actually focus during class and not sleep. today i just feel so lethargic unlike the usual tuesday where im so pumped up for the long days. shouldve brought my laptop and wore my grumpy shirrt. there hasnt been a better day for that.

mom and dad going to sebana later this evening so its just me and me. wow. sis and adrian enjoying their time together esp cos my sis just turned 24 yday. old hag i say.=]
really have been spending most of my time on schoolwork and sailing. altho my school work isnt really the best quality, the fact that i actually bother to finish most is an achievement i give myself credit for. getting along with people from my proj groups have actually been better than expected. no whackos or retards. as a friend said to me, once you're a yr 3. u just gather to GET THE DAMN JOB DONE. sad innit?.

right now things at home are better, dads seemed to have gotten his act together, mom's happy, sis is busy with work(headed in e right directn) and i guess im fine. doing what i 1. wanna do. 2. gotta do. basically sailing and school respectively.

this three years better end fast, to be financially independent and pursue a worthy career is on the cards for me and my educational tour is about to come to an end. somehow i foresee the next few years being quite important ones, with changes i cannot control shaping how my life would turn out. all i can say now is, being almost 21, im quite happy with how my life has turned out, grateful for all the great times i've experienced, and also the horrible times which made me a smarter person today. and now, its not about who i am, the mould is set, the character is decided. its time to achieve.

ok. i have evaluated. good tuesday to me.
band for e week: UNC CLEF HANGARS.=]

wife biscuits

last 48 hours have been like fna, mno, legal, mno, mkt, mkt mno.
missed training for a video thing today at harbourfront which was actually not too bad considering we sat there for 4 hours solid.

im just dreaming, just dreaming.

we believe in you.

no naruto for this week. BUMMER. this anime is really good man. from ocs days when alex ho brought em into camp for us to watch. episode 151 will come out next week.

just came back from training...really sian day today as the wind was really light and faded into the evening sky without a howl. big difference from yday when it blew a beautiful 15 knots in huge waves. i was so tired working out yday that i had trouble sleeping. today was saved thanks to a gym session. 6 sets of anything is enough to kill. so now i must make a conscious attempt to eat more lest it gets wasted. today im 67.5kg and will keep u guys updated. target end of this year i'll hit 70...

dont think mom's coming back today so its gonna be just me for tonight again. some boring shit here. i think my blogs getting boring, but as some of you already know, i cant do without my blog. its too good to vent to give up on.

im secretly looking forward to mambo with eugene and claire when claire gets back cos i miss it.. haha.. tt fri at zouk reminded me of how fun it used to be. altho abit retarded but fun.
tonight i gotta stay home and do work. ohmm. yes do work you heard me right.

sailing.

im almost 68 kg now...whoa. this weight gain has been great. and its REAL weight. altho its alot of caitaokue and chicken rice. but its been like really good for my weight gain program...i started it at 65 which i had stagnated at... eating before u sleep was great advice from uncle foo.

bigger doesnt necessaruly mean better either. i stupidly survived sailing alone today but gashed my thumb shoving my lifejac into my locker. smart right?. then it started bleeding abit la.
but not impressed at my intelligence there.

anyway...did my bench press and suddenly the wind came and stabilised. so i decided to sail!. haha good move there cos it was great sailing conditions of a steady twelve knot breeze strangely coming from the southeast. of late its been coming down the southwest but nothings certain when it comes to the wind... went upwind and downwind as usual..
didnt do many tacks cos i wanted to train my hiking. soccer and tennis yday really killed my legs so im really aching as i type this. i need lactic acid remover machine soon.
the sail i used to use has been brought to aus, so uncle foo gave me another SLIGHTLY older one so he said. its so damn old... i gotta tighten my vang alot just to keep the leech closed so it doesnt spill so much wind... then my god damn rudder downhaul had to break.. so i came back after a mere hours worth of good training to fix it dammit ... downwind was good and my wave riding is improving... i think i probably linked 4 waves max today.. and my record must be at most 5 only. not say very pro yet at this aspect.. esp after the first 3 and your boat speed decreases....

kk gtg . tired as hell. no ttennis today. i think.

We believe

the biggest thing which bugs me at SMU. during my short albeit insightful visit was that when the lib closes at 8pm, the song closing time by green day plays. not the best song in the world. but it did seem to tell me SMU was a fun place above all. to lighten up a library in a university isnt that hard issit?. it really made me feel like getting up and doing a jig there and then.

heh...having said that. my gut still tells me i made the right choice. simply because i shouldnt be in the same school as my friends, for productivities sake. even at the expense of wasted productivity travelling so damn much.


kk today was made up of meeting up with friend in the afternoon, soccer in the evening, and tennis at night. my body is falling apart fast. lucky schools short tmr. 10-12.
memorable bit was hitting an overhead between two players. coming from 5-2 to win the set 7-5. and maybe the goal i scored. ahaha thanks chrissypoo. u're a good soccer kaki. not bad for a newcastle united youth player.=]

being ponderous=]

thinking about the perfect life.
and i realised its been lost upon me for a long while that leading the perfect life is alot about how u deal with stuff which comes u way. having it sucky doesnt mean you're less than perfect, but a opportunity to show your true character when called for. its a race to the finish. and its far from over for me.

SMU.

well hey, its the little speck in the middle of town we're talking about.
in there where my friends choose to spend their 3-4 years educating themselves. learning what little they can to get ANOTHER piece of paper. just like me in NUS.

yes some will say im outdated. but the smu campaign "we're different" was a success no? it was irritating the shit outta everyone else but got quite alot of prospective students to join.
so what happens when 5 SMU guys and 1 SMU girl sits with me outside shell station slurping noodles and green tea. NOW TELL ME WHO'S DIFFERENT!!
yea that was after a fun night of zouk clubbing with them.

now all my sailing kakis have left for australia.. so sad right..

on another note, school's beginning to get alot more vigorous. having settled down and shit.
projects and presentations got quite alot so i gotta be conscientious and not miss them.
im still at the stage where i just do tutorials and nothing else. i dont read my textbooks and stuff. once im more comfortable with everything, i'd take abit more time to start reading up and shit. semesters are pretty short so mark my words, every day in unis gonna be a damn sprint.
meeting nice people is always a plus point. group mates and old friends congregate in the biz canteen to help alleviate my boredom in school.

anna nalick -- breathe (2am)

to you.

its not my fault i walked on without you.
you have to understand that im your son. not your business partner.
the best way to deal with those people i dont care.
but u cant treat your son like that.

its not totally unfair that i ask to be treated a little more like my friends.
i understand where you're coming from and your circumstances.
but i cant deal with a person who wants to shape who i am.
i see your good intentions, but guide me wont you
not force your ways down my throat.

uknow im scared. why?
cos i bet when your dad fucked you up u told yourself u'd never be like that.
and now, one generation later.. i tell myself i'll never be like that.
and im scared i fail. and i try to live my life vicariously through my sons' life.
and that, is something i dont want.

yes i stfu when u tried to make me talk.
truth is, i really dunno what u want.
lick your boots, i wont. say what u wanna hear, i wont.
but its alright. thanks to your upbringing,
which hasnt been all that bad thankfully,
i've learnt that what i can get from others,
i get myself.
and u'll know that when u see me with my brand new ... ...

lotsa love: weiguo